Hogs Blog

Hogs last Blog....

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 22:25:47 +0200

As they say all good things come to an end.....

All I would say is ....thank God!! My carers are at last taking me to the ball....the TPC one of course and I will dance my little trotters off. This means that this time next week I should be in the care of my new carers.

So all I can say is, this is not goodbye....just au revoir.

I do hope that I will speak to you again and be able to give you all the benefit of my wit and humour for another year.

I am spending my last night of freedom having had a very nice last supper around a previous carers home and I must say I have had a laugh.

Well I must dash as I have to get myself ready for the forthcoming weekend.

Thought of the moment....they say its a case of mind over matter....well if I don't mind - you don't matter.....!!

Byeeeeeee!!

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Ooooh I could be an agony aunt!!

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 12:27:36 +0200

Discussions are afoot (sorry atrotter) that I may be asked to be an agony aunt in the TPC magazine. What an honour, I don't think anyone else has managed such heady heights in my family since Uncle Silas was knighted for his services to the Danish food industry....

I am all a quiver with excitment now, each time I think about this I keep having to sit in a bucket of iced water - the only trouble is now, my love spuds have stage one hypothermia....

Well I will keep you posted on how it goes....I may consider allowing the nationals in on this...depends on what they offer, this year the TPC - next year...who knows.

Well I'm off to freeze the next lot of potential piglets...

Thought of the day - If according to the health and safety executive, you can no longer work at height....how will the TPC survive?

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Well what a time!!

Fri, 07 Apr 2006 13:48:45 +0200

Sorry that there has been a bit of a gap since my last post.... my carers have had all sorts of fun. They rent out a little 2-3 bed house in Dover.....which the tenants decided to use as a cannibis factory....yes they were not even living there...when the police raided the place, they took over 300 hundred plants out.....

Perhaps I should become a financial advisor - instead of putting my money in property.....I have always advocated putting my assetts in a piggy bank.

Well I have obviously been very busy as well (as you can see) - I have been dusting and cleaning again - my little trotters are fair fit to fall off....I can vouch for the fact that this place is no longer a sty...

Well I must be going....so much to do.....so little time.

Thought of the moment. If you are always told to concentrate and study at school - and that you need to be intelligent to get somewhere....what happened with George Bush!!

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Travelling in STYle.....

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 11:33:26 +0100

Well I hope that the fact we are only 11mths from Christamas has got you all in a tither......are you sorted? bought the turkey yet? Just testing, I wonder at what time this year we will be subjected to the usual commercial run up? Good Lord, somebody must have ruffled my bacon this morning...Sorry - I am not usually that serious.....;-)

Hope we are all well - actually I am having a sneaking suspicion that nobody is reading this....if you are - do leave me a message...is there anybody there?

As you can see this was my MOD phase....well thats what I was told when I asked for The Jam on my toast rather than marmalade.

See you all later.

Thought of the moment : If computers are supposed to be time saving.....why do we now spend far more time 'just fixing' little problems? Is it me or when did you last have to reboot a pen and paper?

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Happy HOGmanay....

Sun, 01 Jan 2006 01:44:38 +0100

Well - hope all is well on the farm (as they say where I live)....Happy New Year - may I take this chance to wish everybody great health, wealth and happiness for 2006.

As you can see from my piccy - I am celebrtttt, I am cerebratttt, I am enjoying a scotch with my new hat....and tie - thanks to the Bam Bams for that - I think I look rather smart....though I am not sure what they are trying to say with the hat!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR........

Thought of the new year.....New Resolutions last longer than midday on the first!!

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MERRY KISSMAS

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 18:47:35 +0100

My carers could not afford a christmas tree this year.....so I have had to dress up in tinsel and have fairy lights wrapped around me.....I won't tell you where they have put the fairy!! The lights are definitely keeping my crackling warm under my kilt....

Anyway - here's wishing you all a Merry Christmas....hope all you have fun and get exactly what you want and what you deserve from Santa...

We will be enjoying Christmas Day with the female sides parents.....should be OK - hope there is no fog when its due for her to leave......otherwise traffic control won't allow her home on the broomstick!!

Once again - hope all is OK wih you folks and will post again soon....

Thought for Christmas - I hope you get what you want and want what you get.....

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Work - Work - Work.....

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 10:35:34 +0100

Well as you can see, my poor trotters are being worked to the bone.....after the foot op, the male 'carer' then decided to get a cold. None of your usual sniffly noses....this was a real MAN cold. Rumour has it that he missed death by a sneeze. This has meant that we have all had to rally around....again!! humph, if I knew the hardships that I would have to endure....I would never have agreed to this placement!!

Well off on nicer things....CHRISTMAS is soon....hope you have stuffed your cards and written the turkey...erm something like that!! I have obviously ensured that we have turkey this year - there was talk of a ham....but I soon put paid to that.

Even tried my hand at a bit of decorating last week with the female 'carer' - this was a giggle, we were wallpapering - it was only my tummy that saved me - I came within a bacon rind of being stuck to the wall.

Oh well will speak to you all again soon.

Oink Oink....

Thought of the moment - when on hold to large corporate customers - why is it they say....your call is important to us...please hold - let me give you a tip....if it is important to you...THEN ANSWER IT WITH A HUMAN!!

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OK bored now!!

Sat, 29 Oct 2005 13:43:24 +0200

Well - sorry that I have not been online for a little while - the 'male carer' has had an operation on his foot - no - I know what you are thinking.....its his left foot you know!!.....he is laying on the sofa....being incredibly BORED BORED BORED.....so I have been sitting with him, keeping him company.

Also had to do some baking for him as well as you can see from the photo - I make a wicked chocolate brownie you know (with a tinsy bit of help). I must say he was pleased to see the cakes - his little face lit up....ahhh so sweet.

Had a visit from the Smiths this week - they are like the Bam Bams - only slightly quieter (not by much)...we all sat on the sofa and watched the borrowers.....secretly I think the 'male one' wanted to see it and just used the kids as an excuse.

Just a quick note to G - hope you feel a OK soon - we all wish you the best.

Thought of the second - a stitch in time......damn well hurts when its holding you together!!!!

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Tweedledum and Tweedledee.......and Me

Sun, 02 Oct 2005 18:49:29 +0200

Well as you can see.....the management turned up to assist with the christening of the lastest potential TPC member (pictures of the event will follow). Had a great morning - nearly fell in the font - decided that holy water is not for me.

Great knees up afterwards - little offended, as there was someone more important than me.....but due to the fact that it was his day - I will let him off on this occasion.

So will keep you posted soon.

Thought of the day - born to live - taxed to death!!!

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Hog on the Bog!!

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 22:33:50 +0200

Goodness me, is no-where sacred - one stops for a moments thought and contemplation and I still get bugged!!

Well this has been a varied week - my 'carers' went to tea at Harrods with two other longstanding TPC members on Fri - (just a quick hi to Vanilla and Dunc....) - not bad tucker apparently - the male one was a bit pale - due to spending the money I think - he did not get his colour back until Sunday....

On Friday as well they went to a property auction - first time - had to give them guidance on how to be cool - but they managed to buy 1.5 acres of pigsh*t - what a star!! Seriously, the site has been used to keep hogs on - can't wait to get up there and have a roll around in the mud!!

Went out on the motorbike on Sunday with another couple of TPC'ers - good God - their idea of a quick run round the back lanes lasted for over an hour!! I think I have blisters on my trotters now.

Thought of the moment - (from a TPC'ers daughter) - what scared you - don't know haven't found it yet. Oh if life were that simple.

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BAM BAM Bamford

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 23:10:32 +0200

Well what can I say - this has been one exciting week. Let me start on Saturday...I was asked if I would like to go out on the jet ski - seemed a bit cold and wet!! Well, apparently the waves were rather fierce and during the launch the male 'carer' managed to get rather cool bruises on his hand and up both shins - but my new best friends went out on the ski and appeared to have a great time - I am sure that they know no fear!!

When they all got back to the house I was cuddled to within almost an inch of my life - that younger one has a grip like steel....

Well, then on Monday my 'carers' had a mad idea - the female one read about a church that needed saving and thought it would be a good idea to go and look at it. The thought of all that DIY - makes me come out all scratchy!!

Then they both decided to book a holiday - and a foreign one at that - not bad seeing as this is the first decent holiday in 15 years.....I am trying to see if I can sneak on the plane as excess baggage - will keep you posted if I succeed.

Thought of the moment : try, try, try again - just means you are .....a trying git.

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Hogs Blog!!

Mon, 12 Sep 2005 17:27:32 +0200

Well - lots has happened over the weekend - it was my 'carers' wedding aniversary - (I think the male one has done rather well to put up with the female myself!!) - 12 years apparently - huh - these human things, strange they have managed more than 10 minutes.

This led to great merriment and.....well not a lot really - they went shopping in the local outlet centre - boy do they know how to live.....

Managed to get a message today from a young lady (27) does not appear to have anything to do with the TPC - so hey, shows I still have it - 2ft and pink and I can still pull the birds......erm that sounds dodgy. Anyway will keep you posted on this one.

Just a quick wish you well to Gentle Gym - apparently he has an irregular heartbeat - always thought there was something irregular about him - just goes to show.

Well am off to do the housework now....

Thought of the moment - if we are born to be wild - why do we spend so long taming things!!

Oink for now....

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Driving Miss Daisy

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 23:25:02 +0200

Well not so much a co-driver but a back seat driver - my map reading skills are not as hot as I thought - the only place I seemed to want to take us to was Hamstreet?!?! Had to go to London with my 'carer' to complete an emergency call-out on a camera!! Oooh how exciting.

As you can see, made sure I kept my seatbelt on for the whole journey - I know some of you have been rather concerned over my health and safety policies....

On the way back we stopped off for a fry up - I was offered the number one special - double egg, beans, chips and bacon - WHAT - bacon - I ended up having a glass of water as I came over all faint....

Thought of the moment - If your eyes are too big for your belly - how big are your eyes?

Toodleoink for now....

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Hard work...down at the farm!!

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 18:37:03 +0200

As you can see I have been press ganged into mowing the lawn.....phew hard work. But due note to Gentle Gym (BBS www.tallclub.co.uk) you will see that I am wearing my safety specs - not as cool as my shades, but one has to have an eye to safety.....

Anyway, after having to work for a living I think I might have an early night - its quite taken it out of me - my last 'carer' H just let me lay about partying all the time!!

See you all again soon - Oink for now

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title-155785

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 13:47:38 +0200

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The Journey Home

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 11:55:30 +0200

Well - another year is over and at the annual Tall Persons Club event (www.tallclub.co.uk) I have been passed yet again to a new 'carer'. I was a little concerned over how they chose them.....but for those of you in the know, hopefully you will ensure that I get looked after. At least I appear to be with a family that really understands me....managed to get a great seat in the car on the way home and am looking forward to all of the exciting things that I have been told will happen to me over the forthcoming year....

Managed to get home without too much trauma - did go via Louises on the way back....but due to space....got left in the car!! If this kind of behaviour carries on will have to report new owner to the RSPCH (Royal Society of Prevention of Cruelty to Hogs). The reason I say they understand me, is that when we finally got home - it was just that - home - what a pigsty - hoping to go for an upgrade to a better location soon but will keep you all posted.

Oink for now....

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